Many, many moons ago, when Montana was just part of the Louisiana Purchase, a crowd of intrepid explorers made their way up the Missouri River in search of espresso.

Led by Merriwether Lewis and Captain William Clark, the expedition followed the Missouri River deep into Montana, where they found themselves in an area of many waterfalls. Their infamous portage around the Big Falls, Great Falls, Rainbow Falls, NotSoGreat Falls and GodNotAnotherOne Falls took over two months and had them all wondering just what the hell they thought they were doing.

The expedition stalled when Lewis, entranced by the Great Falls, became convinced he had found heaven and lost all interest in continuing upriver. This created some strife within the expedition. Most of the members, weary of pushing boats across the prairie, were inclined to side with him. However, Captain Clark, jonesing bad for a latte, and Sacajawea, anxious to introduce her husband to her relatives among the Salish Indians, nagged and cajoled until the group packed up and continued upriver to the Salish encampment.

While with the Salish Indians, a member of the expedition took ill with a strange fever. In this almost forgotten passage from his journals, Lewis recorded the case of Ole Larsson at their camp just below the GodNotAnotherOne Falls.

"Ole still struggles agaynst the fever. (Medic) has tried varios poshuns, but the young man, ever slight and wiry, has ill responded. In his dellirium, he has shouted odd things about parisols and corsettes.

"We must resume the journey as autumn's shadows quiken. The Salish medisine man, Black Eagle, has ofered to take Ole into his care so we leave him with our prayers, and hope he will be able to rejoin us on the return trip."

Black Eagle successfully treated Ole with an old Salish cure. Upon recovering his senses, Ole confessed that he was a she--and her real name was Olga. Well, as you know, these things can easily get out of hand and she soon fell madly in love with the wise and caring Black Eagle and bore him a son, which they named Sven Kindabuttugly Black Eagle.